I have four questions for you and I believe that, the clearer you get on the answers, the easier it will be for you to stay on track with the healthy choices you want to make, and the more consistent and long-term success you’ll enjoy.
Read through these.
Spend some time with them.
Journal about each one.
Go for a walk and think about them.
Don’t rush your answers. Don’t expect them to come fully formed right away. Let your answers reveal themselves gradually over time.
Here we go…
Why do you want to change? Because you want to lose weight? Feel better? Have more energy? Avoid illness? Live longer? Keep up with the people you love?
All great. Let’s start there for sure.
But then let’s go deeper.
Why do you want those things? What would life be like if you had them? How would it be different than it is now?
What do you want to be able to do? Run a 10K? Do a handstand? Easily resist sugar? Feel amazing in a bathing suit? Chase your grandkids? Wake feeling rested? Love yoga? Wear sleeveless tops? Cut out caffeine? Climb Mt. Kilimanjaro? Salsa dance? Break dance? Inspire others?
How do you want to feel? Not just physically but emotionally, spiritually and mentally. In control? Strong? At peace? Proud of yourself? Clear? Alive? Full of potential? Sexy? Powerful?
And not just generally, but how do you want to feel when you walk into a party? When you’re reading the menu at a restaurant? When you’re standing in front of the buffet at the vacation resort? When you’re alone on the couch at night? When you first wake up in the morning? When you’re lying down to go to sleep? When you’re at the gym? When you’re at the beach? When you’re shopping for clothes?
Who do you want to be? One of the reasons we struggle to stay consistent with doing the healthy things is simply that we’re not currently the kind of person who does those things.
That is why this single question has changed my own life more than any other.
After spending years struggling to stay consistent with making the healthy choices that I knew I should be making, I eventually had to get brutally honest with myself and acknowledge that:
I wasn’t (at that point) someone who made healthy eating an absolute top priority in my life. This is why I always ended up saying things like “I have no time,” and why I regularly allowed external factors like parties, travel and other people derail me.
I wasn’t someone who woke up and deliberately created the day I wanted to experience.
I wasn’t someone who was willing to allow the discomfort and uncertainty of change.
And the fact is that it’s impossible to stick with behaviors that don’t align with who you are. You might be able to force them for a day or a few days or even a few weeks, but eventually you will always revert back to behaviors that match the person you currently are.
The good news is that you have the power to change who you are. And once you spend some time getting super clear on the answer to the question: “who do you want to be?” the more you’ll be able to see that person in your mind and start behaving the way she would be behave, believing the things she would believe, setting the boundaries that she would set and choosing the things she would choose.
So, consider these questions:
Why do you want to change?
What do you want to be able to do?
How do you want to feel?
Who do you want to be?
You won’t have all the answers right away, and that’s perfect.
But sit with them, mull them over, come back to them again and again, listen to what your heart says when you ask them, write down what comes up.
The more honestly and specifically you can answer them, and the more they replace the number on the scale or the size of your clothes as your guiding North Star, the more success you’re going to see in your life.