Four questions that matter way more than the number on the scale

thinking woman with question mark

I have four questions for you and I believe that, the clearer you get on the answers, the easier it will be for you to stay on track with the healthy choices you want to make, and the more consistent and long-term success you’ll enjoy.

Read through these.

Spend some time with them.

Journal about each one.

Go for a walk and think about them.

Don’t rush your answers. Don’t expect them to come fully formed right away. Let your answers reveal themselves gradually over time.

Here we go…

Why do you want to change? Because you want to lose weight? Feel better? Have more energy? Avoid illness? Live longer? Keep up with the people you love? 

All great. Let’s start there for sure.

But then let’s go deeper.

Why do you want those things? What would life be like if you had them? How would it be different than it is now?


What do you want to be able to do? Run a 10K? Do a handstand? Easily resist sugar? Feel amazing in a bathing suit? Chase your grandkids? Wake feeling rested? Love yoga? Wear sleeveless tops? Cut out caffeine? Climb Mt. Kilimanjaro? Salsa dance? Break dance? Inspire others? 


How do you want to feel? Not just physically but emotionally, spiritually and mentally. In control? Strong? At peace? Proud of yourself? Clear? Alive? Full of potential? Sexy? Powerful? 

And not just generally, but how do you want to feel when you walk into a party? When you’re reading the menu at a restaurant? When you’re standing in front of the buffet at the vacation resort? When you’re alone on the couch at night? When you first wake up in the morning? When you’re lying down to go to sleep? When you’re at the gym? When you’re at the beach? When you’re shopping for clothes?

Four questions that matter way more than the number on the scale
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Who do you want to be? One of the reasons we struggle to stay consistent with doing the healthy things is simply that we’re not currently the kind of person who does those things.

That is why this single question has changed my own life more than any other.

After spending years struggling to stay consistent with making the healthy choices that I knew I should be making, I eventually had to get brutally honest with myself and acknowledge that:

I wasn’t (at that point) someone who made healthy eating an absolute top priority in my life. This is why I always ended up saying things like “I have no time,” and why I regularly allowed external factors like parties, travel and other people derail me.

I wasn’t someone who woke up and deliberately created the day I wanted to experience.

I wasn’t someone who was willing to allow the discomfort and uncertainty of change.

And the fact is that it’s impossible to stick with behaviors that don’t align with who you are. You might be able to force them for a day or a few days or even a few weeks, but eventually you will always revert back to behaviors that match the person you currently are.

The good news is that you have the power to change who you are. And once you spend some time getting super clear on the answer to the question: “who do you want to be?” the more you’ll be able to see that person in your mind and start behaving the way she would be behave, believing the things she would believe, setting the boundaries that she would set and choosing the things she would choose.  

So, consider these questions:

Why do you want to change?

What do you want to be able to do?

How do you want to feel?

Who do you want to be?


You won’t have all the answers right away, and that’s perfect.

But sit with them, mull them over, come back to them again and again, listen to what your heart says when you ask them, write down what comes up.

The more honestly and specifically you can answer them, and the more they replace the number on the scale or the size of your clothes as your guiding North Star, the more success you’re going to see in your life.



Posted in

Sara Best


  1. Linda Ridgway on July 17, 2019 at 12:41 am

    Wow, such simple questions with not so simple answers. I don’t know the answers because I have never allowed myself to ask ….
    You are amazing…thank you!

  2. Maggie on August 13, 2019 at 12:46 am

    I wanna feel more energy which will make me feel better physically it’s not a number on the scale for me .Its about feeling good in my own skin confidence thank you Sara Maggie Aucoin.

    • Debra Signs on September 4, 2019 at 12:02 am

      These questions are a good way to start the process of of change. I’m a very big people pleaser so everyday I put on the mask that is for the someone besides myself. I’m going to search for honest answers to these questions.

  3. Donna M on August 13, 2019 at 1:03 am

    Simple yet so damn hard.

  4. Lynn on August 13, 2019 at 1:44 am

    Wow, this couldn’t have come at a better time . I needed to see this again tonight ! thank you Sara for posting this.

  5. Allison Clark on August 13, 2019 at 1:45 am

    Wow, No quick answers for me! Taking time to dig deep on these questions. It’s time to find the truth to being so inconsistent with myself! Thanks for sharing your insight!!

  6. Monica on August 13, 2019 at 1:49 am

    Great questions…I find them difficult to answer them, I feel emotional just reading them. Wow!!

    • Beth on October 26, 2019 at 4:43 pm

      I become emotional just reading the questions as well. They seem too big for me.
      And therein lies the problem, I suppose.

  7. Heather on August 15, 2019 at 12:18 am

    Thank you, Sara! Ive been off track and making not-so-great choices. These questions will help me refocus my priorities. Thank you.♥️

  8. Evelyn A Faulkner on September 4, 2019 at 12:18 am

    Hi Sara: I was just going over these questions this morning. Excellent questions. I woke up in the middle of the night with the realization that when I choose to not make the best choices I am reacting to something instead of RESPONDING to them. That was a big breakthrough for me.
    I am beginning to allow myself to FEEL the feelings. Working on what I mean when I say that I am working on becoming The Best Version of Me., Defining what that looks, sounds & feels like. I’ll let you know when I have a clear answer.

  9. Susan on September 4, 2019 at 6:37 pm

    “Who do you want to be” hit home for me. I want to be a true reflection of a fitness and health coach, able to dig deep into my own lingering issues with food, master those issues and help others do same. I don’t want to be the one that always needs a 21 day or 5 week challenge or fitness competition to maintain, (though they have been a great help to me and others and the competition showed what I was capable of – now I have BDD after being so lean lol). I want to look the part, act the part, walk the talk, so to speak. Why do I want to change: because I love me the best when I am not self conscious about my pot belly or that my arms and legs are too big – just so happens there is a magic number on the scale that coincides with me loving me and feeling the best about me – a healthy number. I want to be able to continue to show people that fitness and good nutrition are the true fountains of youth and aging in reverse really is possible!

  10. Terry on October 23, 2019 at 2:07 am

    THIS is the most important guide I have ever seen to implement change. It will take effort for sure. But I know that my attitude will be different and therefore more in focus. Love that day I saw an ad on Facebook and clicked on Sara Best.

  11. Anita on October 26, 2019 at 3:35 pm

    Sara you have been an a swer to my prayers. Thank you for sharing your knowledge in how things work. Then sharing how to change them in a fashion that will last a lifetime. The questions are extremely hard because in my 63 years I have never thought of myself in this way. It is time!!

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